Keep Your Enemies Closer
by demidae
Summary: "The only thing predictable about love is its unpredictability" Perryshmirtz
1. Chapter 1

A/N

Hi! So, this is my very first fanfic! It's Perryshmirtz! It's also on deviantart if you want to go check it out over there :) Constructive criticism is appreciated! The beginning is kind of cliche, but trust me, it gets better.

Disclaimer: Phineas and Ferb © Dan Povenmire and Swampy Marsh

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It was a clear, sunny day in the city of Danville. The birds were singing, the kids were laughing, and everything seemed right with the world. Today was the perfect day to do something out of the ordinary.

Of course, for Phineas and Ferb, everyday was a good day to something out of the ordinary. It didn't matter if it was rain or shine, they would not let a day of the all too short summer go to waste. Today, they were trying to break the record for the World's Largest Pinball Machine after going to the arcade. Delivery trucks were already starting to pour into the little suburban neighborhood as the boys began to build their wild invention.

"Phineas!" Candace yelled at her younger brother. It was funny how she never asked Ferb. "What on Earth are you doing!"

"We're building the World's Largest Pinball Machine! Wanna help?" Phineas replied cheerfully.

Candace glared. "No! I'm calling mom! You are going to be so BUSTED!"

Candace went through this same routine every time her brothers did something extravagant. She knew for a fact that her mother would call her crazy. She knew that at the end of the day, when her mother came home, everything the boys had been doing would disappear, and she would look even crazier than she sounded on the phone. But for some reason, she couldn't stop herself from dialing her mother's phone number. Candace always felt that there was some hope that her mother would finally believe her.

However, this time was no different. When Candace heard her mother's voice on the other line, she immediately started shouting the boys' plans into the phone. Her mother shrugged it off, hung up the phone, and Candace was left, staring angrily at the device.

Perry the platypus was lying on the grass next to the side of the house, watching the usual day's events unfold. He was so glad the Major had chosen this house as his cover. The boys were eager, even from the first day they picked Perry up at the pet store, to have adventures and make sure no day was a boring one. It made for an interesting way to spend his time when he wasn't off doing a mission. It was really quite relaxing.

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. A small beeping noise made its way into Perry's ears, signaling he was being called to do a mission. Perry shot up from four legs on to two, and put his signature hat on his head. He put his back up to the side of the house and pounded his right fist on it. A small door opened and Perry slipped inside. He was carried down a series of elaborate tubes before being dropped, none to gently, onto a seat in front of a huge monitor.

"Oh, there you are Agent P," a man - Major Monogram - said. "Sorry about interrupting your day off, but we have some serious business with Doctor Doofenshmirtz." He paused a moment, as if he was waiting for something. Suddenly, he shouted, "Karl! Where's the fancy animation that explains the stuff Doofenshmirtz stole!"

"Oh. Sorry, sir." a man, sounding considerably younger than the Major, said off screen. Almost instantly, a 'fancy animation' was played.

"As you can see from this footage, Doofenshmirtz has been stealing a lot of evil devices and contraptions. I want you to find out what he's up to, and put a stop to it," Monogram ordered.

Perry saluted to the screen, and before he knew it, was pulled back up the tubes into a launch area to where his vehicle was. He jumped inside, started her up, and was soon on his way to stop Doofenshmirtz's evil plans.

It obviously didn't take long for him to get there. He'd done this only about a thousand times before, each ending with Doofenshmirtz's own stupidity leading to his downfall. Perry wondered why they Major had him even go and stop his plans in the first place. As soon as he was close enough to the familiar tower, Perry jumped off the side of the vehicle and busted through the window of Doofenshmirtz's lair (if you could really call it that).

"Ah, Perry the platypus. Just the platypus I wanted to see," Doofenshmirtz said slyly.

Perry stood up straight for a moment, wondering why in the world Doofenshmirtz would want to see his arch nemesis.

All of a sudden, a shot was fired from Doofenshmirtz's direction, catching Perry slightly off guard. Thankfully, Doofenshmirtz's bad aim made the shot go just past his head, missing Perry completely. This allowed Perry to regain focus and avoid the next shot, which came not two seconds after the first one.

"Hold still!"

A few more shots were fired, and Perry avoided them all. Unfortunately, Perry ran into a trap, and four metal arms came out and grabbed him, holding him down and unable to move.

"You like it? I call it the Platypus Eliminator!" Doofenshmirtz shouted to the sky, obviously proud of his new invention. "I can't believe I didn't think of it before. You see, the only reason I'm not the ruler of the Tri-State area is because of a platypus. So I figured, why not eliminate that platypus, and then go on to take over the world!"

Perry's eyes suddenly grew wide. He knew the Doctor's inventions always worked, it's just that, either due to poor planning by Doofenshmirtz or the fact Perry was always there to stop him, the inventions were never used properly. But since he was tied down, he wasn't able to stop him this time. He knew he would be eliminated if he didn't find a way out of it soon. He began to struggle and pull and the mechanical arms that held him down, but it was no use. He looked around for a button of some sort that would activate the arms, but he couldn't find one.

"You won't get out of it this time, Perry," Doofenshmirtz said with a grin. "I made sure there was no error. Those hands won't let you go, and there's no button for me to accidentally press. It's over for you this time."

Those last words made Perry shudder. He lowered his head and thought of all the things he would never be able to see again and that he didn't get to say goodbye to. But oddly, Doofenshmirtz said, "Let him go."

Perry looked up at Doofenshmirtz for a second before he was dropped to the ground. Thinking he really wasn't going to go through with it, Perry looked back up. Sadly, he was wrong. Perry heard the shot fired, and suddenly, all he could see was white.

Perry was thrown back a few feet and landed on the ground with a loud 'thud'. An immense pain shot through his body where his was hit, and he curled up into a ball, trying anything to get the pain to stop. Weirdly, a few moments later, it did. He wondered for a second if he was dead. Perry opened his eyes to see he was still in Doofenshmirtz's lair, lying on the floor. He sighed. Thankfully, this was the one invention that didn't work.

Perry lifted himself up off the ground into a sitting position. Getting up that far still hurt, so he didn't try to go any further. He looked up at Doofenshmirtz, and saw his face was turning an odd shade of pink. Perry simply smirked at him, as if to say, "Yes, your invention didn't work. HA!"

Perry stood up the rest of the way, and Doofenshmirtz's face turned even more pink. In fact, that wasn't the only thing Perry thought was weird. He actually felt taller than he was before. Plus, there was a breeze hitting him everywhere except his head. He reached up to his head, and still felt hair there. He kept his hand going down, and when he hit his face, he felt skin. Perry quickly pulled his hand away, and looked down on it. He had a human hand.

Perry jumped a little, and fell back down, landing hard on his butt. He looked over the rest of his body and realized everything else was human too. He glanced back up at Doofenshmirtz angrily, as if to ask him, "What the heck did you do to me?"

Doofenshmirtz jumped a little, like he was being pulled back into reality, and said, "I-I don't know what happened to you." His voice was shaky, like he was embarrassed. "The device was supposed to eliminate you, not change you into a human!"

Technically, the machine _had _eliminated the platypus. Human had just taken its place.

All of a sudden, it dawned on Perry that as long as he was in this state, he wouldn't be able to go back home to Phineas, Ferb, and the rest of the family. He angrily stood up, marched right over to Doofenshmirtz - who was getting redder and redder as Perry got closer, and grabbed his shirt collar. He pulled him down and looked at him angrily, silently saying, "Fix it!"

"I-" Doofenshmirtz swallowed, "I don't know how l-long it will take to reverse the effects of the device. It could take days or it could take years."

Perry threw him back up and walked away, silently saying, "You'd better get started."

Doofenshmirtz asked Perry, "What are you going to do while I'm fixing it?"

Perry shrugged, and defiantly sat back down on the floor Indian style with his arms crossed. Again, Doofenshmirtz turned a violent shade of pink. Perry looked back up, with an expression that said, "You got me into this mess, it's your responsibility."

Doofenshmirtz sighed, "Well, if you're going to stay here, you're going to need to put some clothes on. I can't have you walking around here naked all the time."

Ah, so that's why Doofenshmirtz was turning pink. It wasn't custom for human to walk around naked like it was for platypuses. But why was Doofenshmirtz turning pink when he looked at him? Perry shrugged it off and smiled a little. This would be totally awesome payback one day...

Perry stood up, and walked over to Doofenshmirtz. He grabbed him by the hand and pulled him into his own bedroom. Perry sat on the bed and pointed at the dresser, signaling a dumbfounded Doofenshmirtz to start looking for clothes. He immediately sat down and looked in the bottom drawer, as if to hide his burning red face. After a few moments of searching, he pulled out a white T-shirt, khaki shorts, and a pair of underwear. He stood up and gave them to Perry.

"Here, put these on," the Doctor told him. "They'll probably be a little big, but you'll just have to deal with it for now."

Perry took the clothes and sat up. He pulled the shirt on over his head, then the underwear and the shorts. It felt weird to have something that didn't feel like fur covering his body, but like Doofenshmirtz said, it would have to do for now. Upon putting the clothes on, Perry plopped himself down on the bed, crossing his legs. He looked up at Doofenshmirtz, saying, "What now?"

Doofenshmirtz seemed to ponder this for a moment. Finally, after a few minutes, he sighed and sat down on the bed next to Perry. "I don't know what I'm going to do with you," he admitted. "You're going to have to stay here until I can fix the Eliminator. But I don't know where you'll sleep or stuff like that. I guess there's Vanessa's room, but..."

Perry suddenly hopped off the bed and onto the floor. He laid down in a tight circle on the ground and closed his eyes. He decided that was where he was going to sleep tonight.

"What! You're going to sleep in here? I-I don't know if that's such a good idea." Perry noticed Doofenshmirtz was turning red again. He smiled. If only he had a camera or something so he could blackmail him later. Surprisingly, the Doctor began to speak again. "Well, do you want a pillow or something. I can't imagine it being to comfortable down there."

Perry opened his eyes and looked up at Doofenshmirtz. He nodded slightly, and Doofenshmirtz was immediately on his feet and out of the room. A few moments later, he returned, his arms full of a blanket and a pillow. He set them down next to Perry and stepped away, letting his arch nemesis handle the arrangement.

Once he was settled and his head crashed back down onto the pillow, it quickly felt like he couldn't get up again. He glanced at the clock on Doofenshmirtz's bedside table briefly, and it only said 5:30. It was this early, yet Perry couldn't seem to keep his eyes open for very long. The closed slowly, and Perry was taken into a blissful sleep.

Thus, Heinz Doofenshmirtz was left alone with his thoughts, staring at the new human that had abruptly fallen into his life. Doofenshmirtz would never admit this aloud, but Perry the platypus did look awfully cute as a human. He had a young face, probably around 20 years old, and a fairly in-shape body, as Doofenshmirtz had seen more than enough of today. Perry's teal hair fell messily into his face, and his signature hat sat atop his head like it usually did. If Perry wasn't a guy, Doofenshmirtz would almost call his entire appearance cute.

Doofenshmirtz mentally slapped himself. He shouldn't have been thinking like that. It wasn't his place to. Doofenshmirtz quickly sat up and walked back outside, determined to get started on anything to reverse the effects of the Eliminator and turn Perry back into a platypus. He didn't know how much more blushing he could take.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Phineas and Ferb © Dan Povenmire and Swampy Marsh

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Perry woke up slowly, his mind still covered by a fog from sleeping. He carefully sat up, his head pounding like crazy. He raised a hand to his head and opened his eyes, looking around for the nearest clock. It was near an unfamiliar bed, with an unfamiliar lump under the covers. The neon green lights of the clock flashed back 3:00 am. He had slept for nearly ten hours. Perry groaned. Even though, according to Phineas and Ferb, platypuses didn't do much, he shouldn't have been sleeping for that long.

Perry stood up as quietly as he could, stretching his arms above his head. When his hands came back down, he caught a glimpse of them, surprised for a moment. He mentally laughed. He'd almost forgotten where he was. That 'unfamiliar lump' under the covers was Doofenshmirtz, and Perry was now a human. Perry sighed. He'd only been away from them for a day, but he already missed his family. There was no sense of peace here in his arch-nemesis' house.

_Pit, Pat, Pit, Pat..._

Perry glanced to the window where the strange sound was emanating from. He walked over soundlessly and placed his hands on the window pane, trying to get a good look outside. It was raining. It seemed that everyone knew of Perry's sad situation, even the clouds.

Perry stepped back from the window, glancing at Doctor D for a brief moment. If the sounds of his snores were anything to go by, Doofenshmirtz was sound asleep, and probably wouldn't notice if a platypus turned human slipped from the room.

So that's what Perry did. He opened the door silently and headed out into the living room, closing the door behind him. He walked over to the couch and sat down. He thought about turning on the TV, but decided against it. The noise would probably wake the Doctor. The pitter patter of the rain continued to go on outside, causing Perry to look at the window again. He then glanced at his hand, seeing the fur-lacking skin.

_'I wonder what rain feels like on this skin?' _

Despite his better judgment, Perry decided he wouldn't be satisfied until he got to the bottom of his question. He quickly got up off the couch and ran over to the door onto the balcony - still as quietly as he could. Before he opened the door, he looked down at his body. He really didn't want to get his clothes wet because he didn't want to be rummaging through a drawer and wake Doofenshmirtz up. Figuring the Doctor wouldn't catch him anyway, he reluctantly pulled off his shorts and T-shirt, leaving nothing but his boxers.

He took a deep breathe and opened the door, revealing the wet world on the other side. He took a step outside, his foot immediately landing in a puddle. The feeling was so foreign to him, but it was fun. He took a couple more steps out until his body was completely outside, the raindrops falling onto his skin.

The force of the raindrops on the his skin was much harder now that there was no fur to protect him, but it felt kind of cool - like an all over massage type of thing. One thing was for sure - the raindrops were definitely cold, and little bumps were starting to form on the entirety of Perry's body. Perry ran a finger over the bumps on his arm, wondering how they got there.

Perry then lifted his face up to the sky and opened his mouth. He'd seen the boys do this numerous times when it was raining. Suddenly, his mouth was filled with tiny droplets of water, which he happily swallowed. Natural water tasted so much more different than the tap water his family used to give him. In his opinion, it tasted better.

"Perry! What are you doing out there!" A voice from inside called out to him.

Perry froze. That was exactly the voice he was trying to avoid. He spun around on his heel to see Doofenshmirtz standing in the doorway, Perry's clothes in his hands. Perry blushed a little, but it was probably too dark for the Doctor to see. Perry silently thanked the world for that one.

"Come, come on back in here," Doofenshmirtz ordered. "You're going to catch a cold out there."

Perry looked up through the wet hair that had been pressed to his face. He was surprised that the Doctor cared about him catching a cold instead of something like waking him up or getting his clothes wet or something like that.

Perry slowly walked back over to the door, trying to stall as long as he could to keep feeling the water on his skin. When he reached the door, Doofenshmirtz immediately grabbed his wrist and pulled him inside, shutting the door quickly. He wrapped a towel over Perry's small frame and kept his hands on Perry's shoulders, as if he cared about getting Perry warm.

Perry tried to wrap the offered towel tighter around himself, suddenly grateful for the warmth it provided. He looked up with a shy smile at the Doctor, who was looking back with a still worried expression. But after seeing Perry's face, he offered an awkward smile of his own.

"Here, sit on the couch and watch TV. I'll make some hot chocolate."

Perry did as he was told, grabbing the remote from the seat and sitting down in its place. He turned the television on and flipped the channels until he reached one of his favorites - the Soap Opera channel. Above the noise of the TV, Perry could hear Doctor D. in the kitchen, apparently falling over stuff in there. He seemed to be the only one Perry knew who could screw up making hot chocolate.

Then again, he was offering Perry a home until he was turned back to normal. Granted, Doofenshmirtz was the one who turned him into a human in the first place, but usually arch nemeses didn't offer the other a place to stay when one of the inventions went wrong.

The Doctor awkwardly walked over to Perry, snapping him out of his thoughts. Doofenshmirtz extended the cup of hot chocolate over, which Perry happily accepted. Heinz looked at the boy strangely for a second before finally deciding it was okay to sit on the couch next to him.

"Oh, you're watching the Soap Opera channel?" Doofenshmirtz asked after seeing what Perry was watching. It seemed rather weird that a guy like Perry would watch something so feminine, but it was something they had in common. "I like this channel, too..." he trailed off, looking down at his cup.

Perry gave a concerned expression towards Doofenshmirtz. The Doctor had never really acted quite so shy around him, even when he was naked in his living room. Perry scooted closer to Doofenshmirtz, giving him a slight nudge with his shoulder. This seemed to snap him out of a horrible trance, as his entire cup of hot chocolate nearly spilled all over him with the force of his movement.

Doofenshmirtz looked over to Perry's concerned face and sighed. "It's nothing, Perry the platyperson -" That was the first time the Doctor had called him that. "I was just wondering why you were outside in the rain. Were you trying to leave? Is it really that bad here?" Perry's eyes opened wide before he violently shook his head with hand movements to match. "Well, then why were you outside?"

Perry stopped for a moment, trying to figure out ways to explain what he was thinking. First, he pointed to his skin, to which the Doctor immediately answered, "Skin." Next, he placed his hand on his heart. Doofenshmirtz's first guess was "Heart." Perry shook his head and kept his hand in place. It only took 5 more guesses for Doofenshmirtz to get, "Feel." Perry then pointed outside, where little droplets were still pounding on the glass. "Rain... What's that supposed to mean?"

Perry then squished his hands together, which seemed to trigger something in the Doctor's brain. "Oh! You wanted to feel the rain without fur on the skin. But why did you have to take the clothes off?"

Perry looked down and turned away, his own blush appearing on his face. Maybe he wouldn't blackmail the Doctor for blushing. He seemed to be doing it too. Suddenly, a loud sneeze escaped from Perry's mouth. His hand flew up to his face and he looked back at Doofenshmirtz, with an equally surprised expression on his features.

His expression quickly turned to one of mock anger (or real anger, Perry could never really tell), and he threw his hands up in the air. "Great! Now I'm gonna have to take care of a sick platyperson _and _figure out how to turn you back to normal. Does this day just get worse and worse!

_CRACK!_

A bolt of lightning flashed across the night time sky, causing Perry to jump a mile high. Before he knew it, he was on the Doctor's lap, hugging his middle for some sort of protection against the loud, and frankly scary, noise. A heavy blush sprawled across Doofenshmirtz's face before he pulled himself back together. "You're afraid of thunderstorms too! Well isn't this just great!"

Doofenshmirtz picked Perry up with one hand on his back and one hand under his knees. He carried him into the bedroom, expertly turning off the television on the way. He tried to lay Perry back down on the floor in his bed, but he stubbornly refused to let go of the Doctor. No matter how hard he pushed, Perry just wouldn't loosen his grip. So Doofenshmirtz did the unthinkable.

"Fine! You want to be like that! I guess you're sleeping with me!" Doofenshmirtz yanked Perry up onto the bed and laid down, Perry not once letting go. "But don't blame me if I roll over and squish you!"

All of Doofenshmirtz's movements were awkward as he tried to find a good position to sleep in with this growth on his stomach. Once he found comfort, he looked down at Perry, who seemed to have fallen asleep. Surprisingly, though, he lifted his head, smiling slightly at the Doctor. Doofenshmirtz could see little streaks of tears running down the side of his face.

'_Wow, he must really be scared of thunderstorms. Maybe I have finally found his weakness! Now I shall build the Thunderstorm-inator, and it shall magnify the sound of thunder ten fold, scaring poor little Perry to his doom!' _But once Doofenshmirtz looked back down to the smiling Perry, all his inner rants were stopped cold. For some reason, all he could think of was he would do anything to try and stop those tears from falling ever again.

Unbeknown to them, they fell back to sleep like that. They both found peace in each other's embrace. Perry was right. The relationship between Perry the platyperson and Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz was a weird one indeed.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Phineas and Ferb © Dan Povenmire and Swampy Marsh

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Later that morning, after a couple more hours of sleep, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was the first to wake up. He stretched his arms up above his head and tried to sit up, but couldn't due to an abnormal added weight on his stomach. He looked down to determine the cause, and was greeted by a full head of teal-blue hair. Perry was still attached to his middle.

Doofenshmirtz jumped back a little. How in the world had he let himself get into this position? Unfortunately, the sudden movement caused Perry to stir, offering a yawn of his own and nuzzling whatever he was holding. Doofenshmirtz couldn't fathom how cute that little movement was. He quickly gained his composure, however, once Perry looked up at him, a look of terror crossing his features.

Perry jumped back quickly, letting go of his arch nemesis and falling off the bed and onto the makeshift one below. Doofenshmirtz's eyes widened as he saw Perry fall, and he sprang to the end of the bed to try to catch him. However, this didn't work, and he ended up falling as well. In the end, the two enemies landed in the most awkward of poses - Doofenshmirtz was on top of Perry with both hands on either side of his face.

Doofenshmirtz's violent red blush returned, and he instantly got back to his feet. He fake-dusted himself off, then looked down at Perry. He had turned his head away shyly, and Doofenshmirtz noticed his face was also a dark shade of pink.

Doofenshmirtz smiled slightly, not feeling so bad about his own blush anymore. He offered Perry his hand, who looked at it, then back up at the doctor with utter disgust. But eventually, Perry took the hand and was helped up, but also back against Doofenshmirtz's chest. With a quick movement, he was away from the situation and back to his normal self... Well, almost normal self.

Perry started to walk out of Doctor D.'s bedroom, when a loud gurgling noise suddenly escaped his stomach. He wrapped his hands over his middle and looked down, waiting to hear if the sound would come again. It did, and this time, about ten times louder. Perry shot a harsh glare over in Doofenshmirtz's direction and turned around, with every intention of possibly killing his arch nemesis.

He stomped over to Doofenshmirtz and grabbed his shirt collar, pulling him down to Perry's level. Perry pointed at his stomach, and as if on cue, the sound came again. Perry looked at Doofenshmirtz, silently saying, "What did you do to me?"

Unexpected by Perry, Doofenshmirtz burst out into the loudest fit of laughter he had ever heard. He loosened his grip on the doctor and stood back a bit, watching as the madman in front of him continued to laugh.

Once Doofenshmirtz was done and able to speak again, he calmly said, "I didn't do anything to you while you were sleeping. You're just hungry. That's the sound humans make to let them know."

Perry cocked his head to the right a bit, thinking that concept was the most absurd thing he had ever heard. But he was relieved that it wasn't some bomb or something that Doofenshmirtz had planted in him while he was sleeping. Perry the platypus would live to fight another day!

Doofenshmirtz began sweeping Perry out of the room. "Come, come. Let's get you something to eat."

Upon Perry exiting the room, Doofenshmirtz ran ahead of his arch nemesis to take the lead, ushering Perry past the living room and into the very large kitchen that was attached. Perry stopped at a round table that was just big enough for two people to fit. He took a seat and watched as Doofenshmirtz continued into the kitchen. He walked over to the refrigerator, opening the door wide open and leaning inside, his face now completely out of view.

"So," Doofenshmirtz's slightly muffled voice came from inside, "what do you usually eat for breakfast?"

Perry pondered this question for a moment. He had never really eaten any people food except chips before. Granted, he had eaten a slice of Candace's left over pizza, but that had made him sick. He usually ate the platypus food that Phineas gave him every morning, and he doubted Doofenshmirtz had any of that lying around. Perry opened his mouth to chatter, but instead of that, a quiet, "Ah," escaped his mouth.

Doofenshmirtz took his head out from the fridge and glanced at Perry. After seeing his face, he got the picture. "Oh, you haven't eaten people food before?" Perry nodded. "Well, then I'll make you some pancakes. It's the best breakfast food in the world."

Perry nodded and looked shyly back down at the table, folding his hands in his lap. He had no idea why his arch nemesis was being so nice to him - offering him food and shelter. Even saying he was going to make the best breakfast food in the world for him. Maybe he had a plan to put poison in the food. But if Doofenshmirtz was going to do something like that, he probably would have done it already.

Perry gazed up at Doofenshmirtz, who was quietly humming "Snuck Your Way Right Into My Heart" by Love Händel as he made the pancakes. He watched as he expertly prepared the food, not leaving a hint of a mess behind. Soon after, the pancakes were ready to be served. Doofenshmirtz put two on a plate for himself, and one for Perry. He brought the food over, and set the plate down, the smell of syrup instantly taking over all his senses.

Perry took a moment to take it in. It smelled so delicious! As Doofenshmirtz sat down across from him, he picked up the food with his hands, the syrup immediately squishing around his fingers. He took a large bite from it, his face also getting covered with the sticky substance. Doofenshmirt was right. This had to be the best breakfast food he had ever tasted in his entire life, even if it was a little messy.

He looked up at Doofenshmirtz, and gave him one of his biggest smiles to show that he liked the food. Doofenshmirtz smiled at him. "So, you like the food?" His voice cracked a little, showing Perry he was obviously trying not to laugh at something. But Perry nodded vigorously. "I knew you would! But next time, try using a fork and knife. It's a little less messy."

Perry looked down and saw that there had indeed been utensils set out for him to use. He picked up the fork, examining it closely before he stuck it into the pancake, again picking up the whole thing. _'How's this better than using my hands?'_

As if answering his question, Doofenshmirtz started laughing. "You have to use a knife to cut it first. It makes the pieces smaller."

An expression of immediate realization crossed Perry's features as he looked back down at the knife. He picked that up and swiped it through the pancake, slicing it in half. He did this several more times before the pancake was small enough to eat. Once he was done, he set the knife down, and picked up the fork. He stuck it back into the pancake, this time picking up just a small piece. He stuck it into his mouth and chewed on it happily. That whole ordeal was worth it to get to this delicious food.

"It was a little rusty, but good job, Perry the platyperson," Doofenshmirtz smiled, finally picking up his own knife and fork and eating his food.

The praise made Perry look up in surprise. It was just so unconventional. Perry felt he had to do something back. So he took a deep breathe and cleared his throat. At first, he just breathed out air, but once he got a sound out, he had the Doctor's attention. "T-Thank you," he said slowly and drawn out, making sure not to forget one letter.

Doofenshmirtz jumped up in excitement, clapping his hands together. "You can talk now! That's incredible! I never thought I'd ever be able to hear anything from you except that chatter thing you do! But your voice sounds so..." Doofenshmirtz stopped mid-sentence, a heavy blush coming to his face. Perry had a faint idea of what he was about to say, so he didn't press that issue further.

However, he was surprised when Dr. Doofenshmirtz asked the oddest of questions. "Can you say my name?"

Perry cocked his head, a quizzical expression on his face. However, after a few moments of awkward silence, Perry cleared his throat again and attempted the name. "D-Doct-tor Hei-inz D-Doofensh-shmirtz," Perry said, instantly receiving a smile from his enemy across the table.

"That is so cool!" was all he said before he leaned back in the chair, turning his head towards the ceiling.

The rest of breakfast carried on like this. Doofenshmirtz would give Perry words to say and he would practice saying them. Some of these words were very random, said out of nowhere, such as kumquat. Others fell right in line with what they were doing, like pancake or fork. Before they knew it, an hour had passed and there was still mountains of food on their plates.

Doofenshmirtz was the first to notice this, glancing at the clock on the stove. "Wow, it's that late already! I have to get to work!"

Perry didn't know why, but he frowned, wondering why Doofenshmirtz had to leave so soon. As Doofenshmirtz got up and walked past him, Perry grabbed onto the end of his shirt, pulling him back. He looked up and asked, "C-can I c-come with you?"

"Well, sure. I guess," Heinz shrugged. "I'm not going very far. I'm just going a floor up to my lab." He pointed up, indicating the above floor, and Perry followed the line of his finger. He looked back to Doofenshmirtz and nodded. "Alright then, but we have to get dressed first." Perry gave him a strange look. "Ugh, I can't go to work in my pyjamas! It's not professional! Besides, wearing the labcoat just screams 'evil scientist!'"

Perry rolled his eyes, but followed the doctor back to his bedroom. Heinz pulled out another pair of clothes for Perry, then quickly shoved him out of the room so he could change. Perry glared at the door for a moment before turning and heading towards the couch. He placed his clothes on his body then sat down and waited patiently. How long did it take to put on clothes anyways?

Finally, after what seemed like years of waiting, Doofenshmirtz appeared in his normal garb. Perry stood up from his seat and walked over until he was in-step with his nemesis. Together, they walked into the lab, and Perry finally found a sense of normalcy in this whole situation. This was the place where he flew in by jet pack, busted down numerous walls, and defeated Dr. Doofenshmirtz countless times. Being here made the situation less awkward for them both, for they knew that if one of them stepped out of line, it wouldn't be too hard for the other to stop them.

"I suppose we should get to work on fixing the Eliminator," Doofenshmirtz suggested. "Although I'm not really sure where to start. I suppose we could..." he trailed off, going into a state of deep thinking.

While Doofenshmirtz was like this, Perry drifted off to other parts of the lab, some he had never been able to see up close before. Without Doofenshmirtz being at his throat constantly, he was able to examine some of the instruments and things more closely. Dr. Doofenshmirtz really was a brilliant scientist, he just had really horrible planning skills. And, Perry assumed, if he was not around, the Tri-State area would have been taken over by now. It was his job to stop him, so that's what he did.

However, within the span of a very short time, Perry was beginning to see a very different side of Doofenshmirtz. It seemed this side actually cared for the well-being of others close to him. Now that he thought about it, he was awfully affectionate towards his daughter, and to Perry, he seemed very out of character whenever she was around. But now that he had seen more of that side, he was beginning to understand it, and actually kind of liked it. It was a turn around from their usual hatred.

"Perry! Did you hear me!" Doofenshmirtz's high-pitched voice suddenly cut through Perry's thoughts. "I said, we're going to go work over there," he pointed to a corner of the room where a large work bench was set up. It had tools of every shape, size, and color plus more. Perry was impressed. Doofenshmirtz spoke again. "If you really want to help, you can hand me the tools as I ask for them. It'll make things go quicker because I won't have to keep getting up to retrieve them." He paused, looking back up at the ceiling and muttered absent-mindedly under his breath, "I should invent an -inator for that."

He shrugged his shoulders and set off walking for the little work station, with Perry following close behind. They sat down at a couple of stools at the bench, and Doofenshmirtz handed Perry a pair of goggles, also taking a pair for himself. After struggling a bit, and finally needing help from Doofenshmirtz, Perry got the goggles on, and they were ready to work.

At this point, Doofenshmirtz wasn't exactly sure what he was going to do to turn Perry back into a platypus. He was mostly winging it at this point, and was hoping to get extremely lucky. He began by thinking about a couple of formulas, to which Perry just sat and listened intently, hanging on to every word the Doctor said. After he thought he had a formula that would work, they put it to the test. Perry watched while Doofenshmirtz worked, and occasionally got a tool or two for him to use. Ultimately, this attempt failed. But Perry was surprised at Doofenshmirtz's persistance, as he immediately went back to the drawing board after this one literally blew up in his face.

This continued for the next couple of hours. They had several attempts, each one ending in failure. However, neither one seemed too concerned about this, as they just seemed content on working together. Occasionally, Doofenshmirtz would lead a conversation, to which Perry would nod and listen. He even asked Perry about what else he did outside of being a secret agent. In the end, they had learned more about each other in those last couple hours than they had the entire couple years they had been fighting each other.

After a couple more failures, Doofenshmirtz glanced at the clock. It said 5:00 PM. Doofenshmirtz nearly jumped. They had been working for nearly 7 hours straight, no breaks. "You know what, Perry the platyperson. We should get out of here tonight, go to a movie or something..." Perry nodded vigorously.

"So, what movie do you want to see? I don't think there's really anything good out right now..." Doofenshmirtz commented. He looked at Perry's anxious eyes, and decided, "I suppose we could go to dinner first, and choose which movie then."

Perry looked at him confused. After Candace's many ramblings about Jeremy, he was starting to think this sounded more like a date than work companions going out for fun. At first, he was worried about what Doofenshmirtz might be thinking, but decided it was okay. This was probably the only time he would get to see this type of thing up close, even if it was with a guy. He was getting awfully curious. And who knew? Maybe this evening wouldn't turn out to be so bad after all


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Phineas and Ferb © Dan Povenmire and Swampy Marsh

* * *

After a few minutes of fumbling with jackets and such, Doofenshmirtz and Perry finally loaded into Doofenshmirtz's extremely tricked out car. It was one of those really high end foreign cars that Perry kind of felt bad sitting in. He didn't want to ruin the perfectness of the seats or accidentally get fingerprints on the window. The ride was very smooth, and Perry enjoyed that. Riding in the back of the Flynn-Fletcher's station wagon wasn't always the best ride out there.

They arrived at the restaurant a few minutes later. It wasn't as high-end as Doofenshmirtz's car, but it was still fancier than anything Perry had ever eaten. They were sat down in their booth quickly, but after seeing the prices, Perry cringed. He got paid for his work, so he knew what the value of a dollar was, but Doofenshmirtz assured him, "Get anything you want, Perry the platyperson. It's on me."

Perry smiled and searched through the menu. After the whole fiasco with the pancakes that morning, he was excited to try more of the delicious tasting human food. But as he scanned the menu, he realized he didn't even know what half of the titles for the foods meant. I mean - Ratatouille, Coq au Vin? Those were just some of the weirdly named dishes on the menu.

Perry glanced up, and found that Doofenshmirtz was staring back at him with a dreamy expression. However, once their eyes met, Doofenshmirtz quickly looked away, blushing slightly. "Uh, you don't know what the things on the menu even are, do you?" he asked Perry, who shook his head. "In that case, why don't I get something and we can share it?"

Perry nodded, figuring that would be much easier than him trying to find something to eat on his own. Plus, he wouldn't feel so bad about the price because it was Doofenshmirtz picking it out. Perry put his menu down on the table, and began looking around curiously at everything. He felt like a little kid, picking up and playing with everything that was around him. With his new human hands, everything felt new to him. It was interesting.

A few minutes later, Doofenshmirtz looked down from his menu, and saw Perry pouring a pile of salt into his hand, observing it intently. Doofenshmirtz could've laughed out loud, it was so adorable. "Perry," the platyperson-in-question nearly jumped out of his seat, suddenly looking like a child who had stolen cookies out of the cookie jar. Doofenshmirtz chuckled, "How does pizza sound?"

Perry looked at him quizzically. They came to this fancy restaurant just so they could have food they could've ordered at home? But Perry really wasn't in a position to question it. He was being treated to dinner, after all. He nodded in agreement, and almost as if on cue, the waitress appeared at the table. Doofenshmirtz gave her their order, including drinks. After the waitress left, an awkward silence settled over the two as they groped for anything to talk about.

Finally, Doofenshmirtz broke it. "So, how do you like being human so far?"

The question caught him slightly off guard, but Perry was happy to answer it. Because they were talking when they were working earlier, most of the stuttering had gone away. "I r-really like it. Especially the food. Way better th-than platypus food, that's for sure."

"Do you like staying with me? At the D.E.I. building?" Doofenshmirtz asked, unwillingly hoping for an answer that was bound to not come.

Surprisingly, an unexpectedly enthusiastic answer came. "Yea! Th-that's been my favorite part! Learning about all the human stuff! And staying w-with you -" Perry stopped. He was getting ahead of himself. He wasn't exactly sure how he felt about staying with his arch nemesis. Sure, they were having fun while he was human, but did that really hold enough weight to erase all those years of hatred?

Then Perry realized the only reason Doofenshmirtz was treating him so nice now was only because he was human. There was no other reason behind it. Once Perry turned back into a platypus, the same hatred would fuel their battles once again, and they would be bitter enemies. But it was ironically funny. The more Perry tried to convince himself that statement was true, the easier it was to see that it wasn't. There was a sense of sincerity in the other's actions that not even the best actor in the world could fake. The other truly cared about him, and Perry was starting to see maybe he cared about Doofenshmirtz as well.

"Is it really that bad?" Doofenshmirtz's high-pitched voice cut through his thoughts. He realized he'd picked a rather bad time to pause, and left Doofenshmirtz on a rather awful note.

"No," Perry said strongly.

"Really!" Doofenshmirtz nearly jumped out of his seat with enthusiasm. Then, realizing what he was doing, pulled himself back together and glanced at Perry sheepishly. "Really?" he repeated, a little more toned down.

Perry nodded affirmatively, and Doofenshmirtz sighed in relief. "So, I was thinking..." he began, but turned his attention away and began to laugh awkwardly. "Hmm... How do I say this? Um, how would you feel about maybe staying with me, and," he paused, "staying human?"

Perry had to check his ears to make sure he'd heard correctly. Stay human? and with Doofenshmirtz? Perry stared, only breaking his gaze with Doofenshmirtz when their food was placed between them, and he realized where he was. He then awkwardly stared down at his food, as thousands of thoughts raced through his head, and Doofenshmrtz waited for an answer.

Stay with Doofenshmirtz? He still couldn't wrap those words around his head. Doofenshmirtz wanted him to leave his family and his job - everything he worked for - and stay with him. When had their relationship changed to where they were comfortable enough with each other for Doofenshmirtz to request that kind of arrangement.

Then Perry thought back on the last couple days they had spent together. He had learned more about himself and his arch nemesis than he ever had before, and decided that that was where their relationship started changing. A few days ago, Doofenshmirtz was pointing the Platypus Eliminator at his head, with every single intention of killing him. But now, he wanted them to live together, in the same house. And Perry realized that being human, being with Doofenshmirtz, wasn't that bad an arrangement. Their relationship had been changed from enemies to friends in a very short amount of time, and Perry enjoyed that - enjoyed the doctor's company.

But with this request, Perry realized it was going to become something more than friends. He wasn't sure if he wanted something like that, but at the same time, he really did. He couldn't explain it, but something about Doofenshmirtz made him feel like with him was where he was supposed to be. There, he didn't have to hide his identity or his personality, he just let it come out, and Doofenshmirtz took it all in. And Perry was starting to see the subtle hints Doofenshmirtz had been giving him to say he felt the same way - blushing when he was naked, comforting him when he was scared. Plus, this huge request.

But Perry couldn't leave his family. His family had cared for him and loved him every since he was little. Phineas and Ferb's crazy schemes always kept the days interesting, and they would always include him in it if he wasn't off doing a mission. And what would Major Monogram say if he knew Perry was staying with the enemy? He'd get fired, and probably have to get relocated somewhere far away from everything he loved. And his family and his job were way more important than Doofenshmirtz.

But why was he finding it so hard to truly convince himself of that?

"Perry?" Doofenshmirtz cut in.

"I-I don't feel good..." Perry interrupted. "Can I go outside and sit in the c-car?"

"Should we go home?" Doofenshmirtz asked, his voice mixed with rejection and concern. He reached for his keys and held them out.

"N-no, I'll be okay," Perry grabbed the keys and stood up quickly, avoiding the concerned look on Doofenshmirtz's face. "I just need some fresh air, and time to think."

"Perry, I-"

"I'm fine. I'll be right back," Perry said quickly, and almost ran out of the restaurant.

It wasn't to difficult to locate the car, so he walked over, unlocked it, and swung the door open. He sat down on the seat with his legs hanging over the edge of the car. His nerves were a bundled mess now, as his hands were shaking, and he could feel the tears beginning to well up in the corners of his eyes. He blinked them back quickly. He would not cry. He would not cry over Doofenshmirtz.

He leaned to the side and rested his head against the seat, closing his eyes for a moment to try and regain his composure. The thoughts from before were still racing through his head, and it took everything he had to try and sort them out. His mind and his heart were telling him two different things, and he wasn't sure which one to listen to.

His mind was screaming that it was a bad idea. He would lose his job and his family just because of his arch nemesis. He wasn't sure he wanted to pay that kind of collateral for Doofenshmirtz. He loved his family too much to leave them, and he loved his job too much to quit. But from the bottom of his heart, he knew he wanted Doofenshmirtz. He wanted his company and his acceptance, and everything about him.

So the question became, would a platypus who had listened to his instincts and his mind for his entire life listen to them again, and take a path which would not change much? Or would he listen to his heart for once, and go for the person who had changed his world?

He was broken from his thoughts by approaching footsteps, and prayed to god that it wasn't the person he thought it was. But because the world hated him right now, Doofenshmirtz appeared in front of him, carrying two boxes of food. He opened the back door and put the food down, then kneeled to he was face to face with Perry. Seeing Doofenshmirtz only made things worse, however, as the regained composure suddenly shattered, and Perry could feel the tears starting to form in his eyes again.

He would not cry.

"Perry, I-" Doofenshmirtz began, trying to find the words to say. "I'm sorry."

"W-what?" Perry asked incredulously, clearly taken aback by his sudden apology.

"I'm sorry," Doofenshmirtz repeated. "I shouldn't have asked to much of you in so little time. If you want to leave after you're a platypus again, you can. I won't stop you." He looked away, but Perry could see it expression was clearly one of disappointment and sadness. As Perry's eyes traced along his whole body, he could see his entire form said the same message.

Against Perry's will, one lone tear dropped away from his eye, and trailed down the side of his face. He quickly wiped it away, but the movement caused Doofenshmirtz too look back up at him. The concern on his face made another teardrop fall, but when Perry moved to wipe it away, Doofenshmirtz stopped him. He cupped Perry's cheek in his hand and wiped the tear away with his thumb, and let his hand linger there. Perry looked deep into the doctor's eyes to try and find anything bad, any trace of evil. One sign, and Perry would deny him and go back to live with his family.

But he couldn't. The concern and worry that was etched on his face was real, and he couldn't find anything that would say it wasn't. He let the tears fall more freely now, and brought his own hand against Doofenshmirtz's on his cheek. Suddenly, he was wrapped in a hug, and his head was leaning into Doofenshmirtz's chest. Perry wrapped his hands around the other's waist, gripping on as if he would die if he let go.

Doofenshmirtz quietly rubbed his back and idly ran his fingers through Perry's hair. He had not been expecting this sudden breakdown. Perry had always had an aura of toughness about him, and it had never been broken when they fought. The only other time he'd seen him like this was when he was scared about the thunderstorm, and even then, he didn't look as utterly distressed and shaken as he did now.

When Doofenshmirtz had made the request of asking him to stay human and with him, he was completely honest and sincere about it. With all the girlfriends he'd gone through, none of them made him feel as accepted as Perry did. When he made the request, he expected Perry to either sock him in the face, or accept and give him that cute little smile of his. This emotional breakdown could only mean that Perry was emotionally conflicted, and Doofenshmirtz didn't want to put him through the trouble of having to decide. He wanted to stop the tears from falling, even if it meant his own happiness would be shattered.

Once he could hear Perry calming down a bit, he pulled away, but kept Perry's hand in his own. He looked up at him and said, "Let's just go home, huh? You can sleep, or if you're not tired, we can just watch a movie there."

Perry nodded, so Doofenshmirtz stood up, and after Perry swung his legs in, closed the door. He walked over to his side, got in, and started the car. He glanced at Perry briefly before starting out, a move which Perry didn't notice. He looked absolutely beat, like he was going to fall asleep right there. His eyes were red a puffy, and his hair was a mess. It didn't look like they were going to be watching a movie tonight.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Phineas and Ferb © Dan Povenmire and Swampy Marsh

* * *

Doofenshmirtz stared out the windshield idly, not really paying attention to the road, but more to the depressed person next to him. Perry had his head pressed against the window, and he was looking outside, staring blankly into the darkness. Doofenshmirtz assumed he was probably too focused on thinking about something, and he really felt bad about putting Perry in that position.

When the request had come out, he'd definitely meant it. He wanted Perry to live with him. He wanted to spend every second he could with him. Over the last couple days, their relationship had changed, and he found he was just content on being with Perry, rather than trying to annihilate him. Doofenshmirtz guessed these feelings had been there before, but they'd been ignored because he was too focused on his goal, a goal to rule the Tri-State area. It was practically written in his job description that he was supposed to hate anybody who got in his way, and that person was Perry.

But now that he'd had time to take things slow and not be so focused on his hatred, he was beginning to see that there never really was hatred there. It was a fake mask Doofenshmirtz convinced himself he was supposed to wear. But the mask had been shed, and he was starting to see that maybe, just maybe, he loved Perry the platyperson.

Doofenshmirtz vaguely realized that they'd returned back to the D.E.I. building, and on autopilot, parked the car. He unbuckled, and said, "Perry, we're here." When he was met with silence, he looked up, and saw that Perry had indeed fallen asleep, just as he had predicted.

Doofenshmirtz sighed. He didn't really want to wake Perry up, as Doofenshmirtz had already caused him enough stress. So he got out, walked over to Perry's side of the car, and opened the door. He leaned over Perry's sleeping form, and unbuckled him. Then, gently, he picked Perry up bridal style, and shut the door closed with his foot. He then made his way to the elevator that would take them to the top of the building.

Once there, he walked until he had reached his bedroom, and stepped inside. He looked between the bed, and the makeshift one below, trying to decide which Perry should go on. "Guess I'm sleeping on the couch," Doofenshmirtz sighed, and set laid Perry down on his bed. After a bit of fumbling, he managed to get Perry's jacket off, then moved to take off his shoes and socks. He then tucked Perry in, and sat on the side of the bed, just taking in Perry's form.

There was a sense of vulnerability about him, and with the evidence of having cried, the vulnerability was more prominent. At the same time, a sense of peace had settled over the boy, one which would undoubtedly be gone by morning. Doofenshmirtz raised a hand to Perry's hair and played with it, eventually coming down and stroking the side of his face. "Do you have any idea what you do to me?" Doofenshmirtz whispered.

Doofenshmirtz felt a small tear roll down his cheek, and smiled at the irony of it. He wiped it away, then looked back down at Perry. He leaned over, his lips just inches away from Perry's own. He took in every feature on the boy's face, and raised his hand to cup it again. He placed a small, featherlight kiss on Perry's nose, and whispered, "I love you, Perry the platyperson."

He moved away quickly, being sure to not wake Perry as he did so. He stood up, and walked over to the door, pausing just before he left. He took one last look at Perry, and said, "If only I could admit that to you while you were awake." and shut the door.

* * *

Perry woke up the next morning with a massive fog over his head. He had no idea where he was, and didn't remember what had happened the night before. He sat up in the bed, which he didn't know how he got there, and looked around. The place looked vaguely familiar, and Perry realized suddenly that he was in Doofenshmirtz's bed.

_'Oh God,' _Perry thought._ 'I didn't sleep with him in his bed again, did I?'_

Perry, determined to find the answer, got out of the bed, and headed towards the door. It was around 8 in the morning, so if Doofenshmirtz was awake, he would definitely be eating breakfast. If there was one thing Perry knew about him, it was that he was a man of routine. And if he wasn't in the kitchen, he would be someplace else, sleeping.

He took a quick glance out the door, and saw a mess of brown hair sticking out from underneath a blanket on the couch. Perry gave a small sigh of relief, and shut the door again. Now, he had to remember what had put them in seperate rooms in the first place, which Perry wasn't so sure he wanted to know the answer to that.

Then it hit him.

He remembered everything. He remembered what had happened the night before, and how Doofenshmirtz had asked him to leave his family and stay with him. He couldn't believe he'd let himself become so vulnerable in front of his arch nemesis. He didn't know if that was a sign of becoming weaker when it came to Doofenshmirtz, but he knew one thing for sure - things would never be the same between them.

Maybe he could play it off and pretend it never happened. He highly doubted that Doofenshmirtz wanted to return to that memory, after the way he reacted last night. It would probably be best for both of them if they just forgot the memory and moved on. They could avoid the awkward situation and just go back to the way it was before, of them just being friends.

But the question was, did Perry really want that to happen?

Yes, Perry had broken down about the issue the night before. But that was because he was utterly distressed about having to decide between his family, and his arch nemesis - a choice that should've been easy, but Perry soon found out it wasn't. After sorting out his thoughts, he came to the unbelievable realization that he was beginning to see Doofenshmirtz as more than an enemy or a friend. Perhaps someone he _would _want to spend the rest of his life with.

But he still didn't know if he could find the strength to leave his family. They'd been with him since he was little, caring for him, and making every day an adventure. Plus his job. What would Major Monogram think if Perry suddenly left to be human and fall in love with his arch nemesis? He'd probably have him institutionalized...

"Perry?" The man in question scared Perry so bad he nearly screamed. But he managed to compose himself quickly and open the door. He found a man wrapped in a blanket, his hair in a frazzled mess. (Well, it was always like that, but now it was even more so.)

Doofenshmirtz looked at Perry strangely, momentarily forgetting why he came to the door in the first place. Perry looked unusually calm after what happened last night. Even if Perry hadn't remembered because he'd just woken up and was still sleepy, the memory would've been triggered by seeing him, and a reaction would have taken place. But Perry remained the same as if the event had never happened, which for some reason, kind of ticked Doofenshmirtz off.

There was no alcohol involved, so there was no excuse for not remembering. Perry remembered, and was apparently deciding to pretend it never happened. This made Doofenshmirtz feel like his feelings for Perry had never existed, because they could be so easily shoved aside and thrown away. This made Doofenshmirtz a little angry, but he decided to be calm about it, and perhaps get Perry's side of the story.

"Are you okay?" Doofenshmirtz asked hesitantly, looking for any sign on Perry's features that said he remembered. He nodded slowly, making eye contact with the floor instead of the person in front of him. Doofenshmirtz sighed, "Well, good. After last night, I thought you would-"

"Maybe we s-should just forget about last n-night," Perry interrupted. Ah, so he was going to play that game.

"What do you mean?"

"I m-mean, let's just return to the way things were. It's easier for the both of us."

Doofenshmirtz bit his tounge so he didn't say anything to rash. It definitely would not be easier for him, but if that's what Perry wanted, that's what he would get. He had expected this, after all - that he would have to sacrifice his own happiness for the happiness of the person he loved, whether that person knew it or not.

But it still made him mad that Perry didn't even want to acknowledge that the previous night had even happened. He felt like he was being pushed aside and forgotten about, and he'd had enough of that in his childhood. He really wasn't too thrilled about going back.

But Perry would have his wish. "I suppose," he said, subtly irritated. It didn't look like Perry picked up on it though, as he just nodded again. "Well, uh, I need to get into my room," Doofenshmirtz changed the subject, remembering why he had come there in the first place. "I need to get my clothes so I can go to work. You're welcome to join me again, if you want."

This time, Perry smiled and nodded, making Doofenshmirtz nearly melt. If only Perry knew what he was doing to him...

Perry side-stepped to allow Doofenshmirtz into the room, and he exited, going to sit on the couch to watch TV and wait. Once he was out, Doofenshmirtz closed the door, and walked over to sit on the bed. He sighed, placing his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. This was going to be a lot harder than he thought if even a simple smile caused Doofenshmirtz to melt.

He wiped his hands down his face, then stood up, walking over to his dresser. He pulled out his normal clothes, put them on, and walked back out of the room. He found Perry idly flipping through the channels, but when he stepped out of the room, Perry looked up. He smiled, and stood up, walking over to stand next to Doofenshmirtz.

They walked out of Doofenshmirtz's apartment together in silence, Doofenshmirtz barely registering that they'd forgotten to eat breakfast. The thought was pushed aside, as they walked to the elevator, and rode up to the next floor. Neither of them said anything as Doofenshmirtz led them to his work bench, and neither of them continued to say anything as they began to work. Occasionally, an order would be given by Doofenshmirtz for Perry to retrieve something, but other than that, they worked in silence.

This began to frustrate Doofenshmirtz even more. He knew that, no matter what, they could never truly return to the way things were before. There would always be this silent tension in the air, and it would make everything seem ten times more awkward than it actually was. It was starting to get annoying.

They broke for lunch, and went back downstairs, where Doofenshmirtz made them sandwiches. Perry had gone over to sit on the couch and turn the TV on. Doofenshmirtz joined him a few minutes later with 2 sandwiches in hand. He handed Perry his sandwich, then sat down next to him. He then noticed what channel it was on - The Soap Opera Channel. Doofenshmirtz inwardly cursed.

Apparently, a man and a woman were talking about their love life. The woman had just confessed, and the man was about to respond.

'_We can't be together,' _the man said. _'If something were to happen, I couldn't bear to lose you as a friend.'_

The woman was crying now, _'So you're rejecting me?' _she asked defensively. _'How does that keep me as your friend?'_

_'You're like a little sister to me. Eventually these feelings will go away, and everything will be back to normal.'_

_'So, you expect me to just forget about this? About my feelings? About loving you?'_

_'That would be best for both of us...'_

At this, Doofenshmirtz suddenly hopped up and shut off the TV. "Uh," he said intelligently, "we should get back to work..."

Perry looked at him strangely, but nodded nonetheless. They went back up to the lab, and continued to work in excruciating silence until dinner. This gave Doofenshmirtz far too much time alone with his thoughts, as he was becoming more and more frustrated with the silence each minute it passed by. Eventually, they finally went back downstairs, and Doofenshmirtz cooked dinner for them both.

They sat down at the small table in complete silence. A table at which, just yesterday, they were talking and laughing as Perry struggled to eat a pancake. The tension in the air was beginning to overtake him, and Doofenshmirtz felt he could breakdown any moment. As a single tear rolled down his cheek, he quickly put his utensils on the table, and covered his face, letting out a bearly audible curse, "Dammit..."

"What?" Perry asked.

At this, Doofenshmirtz let it all go, and yelled, "Goddammit, Perry!" At this, Perry nearly jumped out of his chair, surprised such harsh emotion could come from the doctor. "Do-do you have any idea what you do to me? I mean, every smile you give me makes me melt, and every time you come close to me, I get thrown into a frenzy!

"And you expect me to just forget and move on? That's not possible, Perry! I've gone in too far to just forget about it! I mean, I lo-" Doofenshmirtz stopped, and slapped a hand over his mouth. He really hoped Perry didn't catch that.

"You...what?" Perry asked. Dammit.

Doofenshmirtz sighed, "Alright, I love you, Perry the platyperson."

"You...lo-" Perry's eyes went wide. Doofenshmirtz loved him...

Hearing it said aloud threw away every single reservation he'd had about it. As long as he could be with Doofenshmirtz, it didn't matter that he'd have to give up his family or his job. And, eventually, his family would move on and find another pet, and Major Monogram could hire another agent. But no one could replace a lover, and that's exactly what Perry wanted to be to Doofenshmirtz. Not an enemy or a friend, but someone he loved with all his heart.

Perry ran over to Doofenshmirtz and jumped on him, enveloping him in a big hug. Doofenshmirtz was clearly surprised, as he didn't really know what was happening. Perry wrapped his arms around the doctor's neck, and said quietly, "You really are an idiot."

At that, Doofenshmirtz finally reacted, and wrapped Perry in the same tight grip. A few stray tears rolled down his cheeks as he said, "Perry, you-you love me, too?" Perry nodded. "Thank you, Perry the platyperson..."

He'd never felt more happy in his entire life. Not as he was trying to take over the Tri-State area, or on a date with one of his many girlfriends. No, now was the moment he'd been waiting for his whole life. To be truly accepted and loved for who he was, and not what he wasn't.

They both slept peacefully that night, each relishing in the warmth and care of the other. They'd both found what they were looking for in the oddest of places, but that's what love was, wasn't it? That the only thing predictable about love was its unpredictability.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Phineas and Ferb © Dan Povenmire and Swampy Marsh

* * *

Doofenshmirtz was the first to awake the next morning, greeted by the morning sun peeking through his shades. He could hear the birds chirping happily outside, and it didn't look as if there was a cloud in the sky. He smiled. He'd told Perry he loved him, and Perry returned his feelings, and it seemed as if the whole world was celebrating along with him.

He looked down to see the teal mess of hair attatched to his stomach, his small arms laced around Heinz's waist. His breathing was even, and Heinz became mesmerized watching his chest go up and down. He really didn't want to disturb the peaceful and admittedly adorable sight in front of him, but he also knew that he really didn't want to waste the day away in bed. It was already 11:30, and he wanted to amaze Perry on their first day of being together, not bore him by staying in bed.

"Perry..." he whispered, shaking the boy's shoulder lightly. Perry let out a huge yawn into the doctor's stomach, then looked up and blinked his eyes a couple of times. When his eyes were adjusted to the sudden amount of light, he smiled at the sight before him. Doofenshmirtz nearly melted under that smile, and silently vowed to do anything to keep it on his face.

"Good morning," Perry said, closing his eyes again and leaning farther into Doofenshmirtz. "Though, with that sun out there, it's probably not morning anymore, is it?"

"You got up just in time," Doofenshmirtz said, glancing at the clock. It said 11:59 exactly, which Doofenshmirtz had no idea he was debating about waking Perry up for so long. "Let's spend the rest of the day doing something fun together," Heinz told him, and Perry nodded against his chest. Doofenshmirtz leaned down and placed a small kiss on Perry's head, and said, "We should probably get up and get ready. Don't want to waste anymore of this beautiful day."

Perry sighed, and sat up, and Heinz felt a tinge of sadness at the warmth Perry provided being gone. He reluctantly sat up as well, and looked at Perry. When the sun was behind him, he noticed how truly dirty his hair was. Then he realized that neither of them had taken a shower in a couple of days, so he probably didn't look that great either.

"We should probably take a shower first," he said, and nearly laughed at the expression of horror that came over his face. He'd almost forgotten that Perry _had_ been a platypus, so the idea of a bath probably didn't sound that great to him. "Trust me, it's better as a human." Perry visibly relaxed, and smiled at the doctor, nodding.

They both got out of the bed, and Doofenshmirtz led Perry to the bathroom. He showed him where everything was, and after the brief look of confusion that crossed Perry's features, also showed him how to take a human shower. After explaining, however, the look of confusion still had not passed, and Doofenshmirtz feared he would have to take a shower with Perry. (Maybe that wasn't such a bad idea... NO! bad thoughts, bad thoughts!)

"You _can_ do this on your own, right?" Doofenshmirtz asked. Perry nodded, but it was slow, like his mind was off in some other place. "You don't seem so sure about that."

"I was just wondering..." he paused, looking like he was embarrassed about what he was going to say. "Can you come in there with me and help me?" He looked up at Heinz shyly, waiting for an answer. Doofenshmirtz cursed himself for not being able to stop the blush from entering his cheeks, and hoped to anything that Perry didn't notice and think he was a pervert or something.

"I suppose," Heinz finally answered, "but we're going to have to wear swim trunks."

"Why?"

"We just do." Heinz exited the bathroom quickly, leaving a very confused Perry behind. He tried to supress his blush as he grabbed two pairs of shorts from his bedroom, putting one on and taking the other to Perry.

Meanwhile, said platyperson was still trying to figure out why in the world Doofenshmirtz had bailed like that. He supposed it was just Heinz's way of reacting to their new relationship, but he still found it pretty wierd. I mean, they _had_ said they loved each other, what could possibly put yourself more out there than that?

Well, there was one thing, put Perry decided not to dwell on that right now...

Heinz soon returned, still blushing as hard as he was before. Perry found it kind of cute, in a way, when he knew that that blush was because of him. Heinz handed him a pair of shorts, and just as Perry was about to take off his shirt, Heinz stopped him, saying, "No, not while I'm right here! I'll leave. Tell me when your done changing."

Perry had to keep himself from laughing as he nodded, and Heinz left the room in a fluster. Geez, did the doctor need to be so touchy about seeing him naked? They'd said they loved each other, so it was probably going to lead to that anyway. He needed to be a man...

Whoa...

Perry shook the thoughts from his head and went back over to the door, poking his head out to tell Heinz he was, in fact, dressed. Heinz laughed nervously, and re-entered the bathroom, going over to the shower to turn on the water. He waited a couple minutes for it to get warm, then stepped in, motioning for Perry to do the same.

The shower was very cramped, but they managed to find a way to fit with a little elbow room to spare. Heinz grabbed the bottle of shampoo and squirted some into his hand. He began lathering it into his hair, and told Perry to do it like he was. Perry got the shampoo onto his hair just fine, but was just mixing it around instead of really rubbing it in.

Heinz laughed, and took over for him, getting his fingers deep into Perry's hair. At this, Perry instantly melted, shutting his eyes and leaning to the touch. It felt as if he was back with his family, and Phineas or Ferb were petting him like they used to. Heinz giggled at the goofy face Perry was making, and said, "So that's your sweet spot, huh? I'll have to remember that."

Perry regained his senses and reluctantly pulled back, only to get shot in the face with water. Heinz had pulled the showerhead from its holder, and was now directing it in Perry's face. "Stop moving! I have to wash the soap out!" he shouted, finally grabbing Perry's head and holding it still. Once the water was rinsed out, Heinz proceeded to rinse out his own hair, then put the showerhead back where it came from.

"Now it's time for the soap," Heinz told him. Perry got this pretty easy on his own, so Heinz left him alone. He instead became stuck in a trance of watching every single move Perry made. The way his defined muscles moved fluently with every motion, the way his hair looked stuck to his face while wet, the way the light reflected off the water...

Heinz blushed and turned away, embarrassed that he'd caught himself thinking about those things. He waited until Perry was done, then shut off the water, and got them their towels. Perry instinctively started shaking himself dry, much to Heinz's amusement, but he stopped Perry, and started drying him off with the towel instead.

After a little while of fumbling with clothes, Perry and Heinz were finally dressed, and ready to have their 'best day ever' together. Heinz walked over to the kitchen and pulled out some ingredients, intent on making waffles for Perry. The platypus in question sat idly at the kitchen table, his eyes following every movement Heinz made. Eventually, a plate was set down in front of him, and a person sat down next to him.

Perry, feeling like an expert after one day of practice, picked up his utensils and dug them into the food. He picked up chunks and shoved them into his mouth, and loved the feeling of having the same warm sensation fill his tummy. But just as he looked up to say thank you, a familiar triangle and rectangle caught his eye.

He reacted instantly, and was at the window before Heinz even had time to register what was going on. Perry looked outside and indeed saw a blimp with very large pictures of Phineas and Ferb on them. It was advertising a horse derby that was going on in their backyard, as usual. Perry smiled as he thought of all the interesting ways Candace would be trying to bust her brothers right now.

"What's out there that's so interesting?" Heinz was all of a sudden behind Perry, causing him to jump.

Once Perry calmed down, he said, "Can we go to that horse derby together?" Perry figured that after this it would be very hard to try and see his family, so this was the perfect opportunity to at least get some closure. Afterwards, it would be easier to let them go.

Doofenshmirtz sighed, nodding slightly. A horse derby wasn't exactly his idea of a great date. He had already planned on going to the beach and maybe a movie. But if Perry was into that kind of stuff, he was willing to comply. "Sure, if it's what you want..."

Perry smiled, and blasted through the rest of his breakfast, trying to get Heinz to do the same. Once they were done eating, Perry quickly got their jackets and practically ran out the door, Heinz following lethargically behind.

"Slow down, Perry the platyperson! What is it about a horse derby that's got you so hyped up?" Heinz asked.

Perry tried to avoid the question. While Heinz and him had admitted their feelings, he preferred that his family remained a secret. It was just the standard protocol that he had always followed, and he wasn't quite used to breaking it just yet.

They hopped in the car together, and drove towards the Flynn-Fletcher household. Little did Perry know that going to the house would be one of the worst mistakes of his life...


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Phineas and Ferb © Dan Povenmire and Swampy Marsh

* * *

Heinz glanced over occasionally at Perry, who was practically bouncing out of his seat with anticipation for this... horse derby. What in the world was it about a horse derby that made Perry like this? It didn't really seem to suit him. Maybe a boxing match or something, but a horse derby?

As Heinz continued to think, they were coming closer and closer to their destination. Soon, they turned onto the street they were supposed to, but there were absolutely no parking spots.

Seeing the slightly dejected look about having to wait longer on Perry's face, Heinz said, "Not to fear, Perry the platyperson! I installed this device called the Car-Incinerator-Inator." As a demonstration, Heinz pushed a large button on the dash that unveiled a complicated-looking device on the top of the car. In an instant, a flash of light came, and the car in front of them was turned to ash. "See? Now there's no need to search everywhere to find a decent parking spot!"

Perry gave Heinz a slightly pointed look, his excitement temporarily fading at Heinz making an evil invention. It was back quickly though, as out of the corner of his eye, he saw Phineas and Ferb entering the stadium. Heinz parked the car in the spot left vacant, and they both got out. In order to keep his true intentions unknown, he managed not to run after the boys and instead stayed with Heinz.

They walked in together, Heinz's nose instantly cringing at the smell of horses. He still could not figure out why Perry wanted to come here so bad. He'd thought they'd spend the day together at someplace more pleasurable, like the movies or the beach. Horses were not something he imagined being around when he thought of "date."

The admission was free, which Heinz did not understand. Why have something like this and not charge people for it? Instant money maker!

They continued up the steps until they found a suitable place to sit. They were at the corner of the end farthest from the starting gate, so they had a pretty good view. The place was fairly packed, and it seemed as if the whole town had come to watch. _'Since when did horse racing become so popular?'_ Heinz thought, still not seeing the appeal of the sport.

Across from where they were sitting was a large press box, and in it sat two boys. _'Are two boys really running this thing?'_ Heinz thought. They must be pretty impressive if they were able to put all of this together. On the other end of the stadium, there was a large jumbo-tron. At the moment, it was playing the stats of all the random horses that entered the race.

"So, Perry..." Heinz began. "You still never answered my question. Why did you want to come here so bad?" He gave Perry a look that said he was NOT getting out of this one. Perry sighed, knowing he was finally beat. He was about to open his mouth to speak, when two small boys appeared on the jumbo-tron. _'Hey, aren't those the two boys that are running this thing?'_ Heinz thought.

"Hello, everyone! And thank you for joining us on this wonderful summer day!" The one orange-haired boy said excitedly. "Before the race begins, Ferb and I would like to make a quick announcement." The picture changed from the two boys to a picture of a platypus that looked... _'just like Perry'_ Heinz took a quick sideways glance at said platypus-turned-human, then looked back at the jumbo-tron. He tried to picture the dumb-looking animal on the screen with a steely expression and a fedora. It matched the former platypus perfectly.

The boys continued. "This is our pet platypus, Perry. He has been missing for the past few days, and we've done everything to try and get him to come home." The screen flashed to a scene where the boys were playing a catchy tune asking Perry to come home. "We can't find him anywhere. So please, if you see this platypus on the street, please return him to us. We miss him a lot, and we don't know what we would do without him. Thank you." And the screen flashed back to the stats of the horses.

Heinz turned and looked at Perry, who had his face turned away. Heinz gently rested a hand on his shoulder to get his attention, and he immediately felt that he was shaking. He then pushed Perry around to face him, and he saw tears. "Perry, what's wrong?"

Perry just shook his head and turned away, his pride obviously hurt. This action ticked Heinz off just a little bit. They were in a relationship, right? Perry should be able to tell him anything. So why wasn't he?

"Perry, I can't stand seeing you like this. And I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong!" Heinz begged, trying to keep the irritation out of his voice. He glanced at the screen then back at Perry. "Do you know the two boys who were on the screen?"

At the mention of the boys, Perry's shoulder instantly stiffened. He was hesitant at first, but he offered a grim nod. "Yea," Perry began. "They're my owners."

_'O...Owners?'_ All this time, Perry had been living in a house with two boys! And Heinz had never found it! How much easier could it be! Then again, Perry was the master of stealth.

But it made it painfully clear why Perry wanted to come here. Perry never wanted to spend time with him, he only wanted to come so he could see his owners. Heinz was just dragged along for the ride. If he really wanted to see his owners, he could've just asked. He didn't have to go through all this. Which made Heinz wonder,_ 'Does he really trust me?'_

The only reason why Perry would keep his owners secret would be because he didn't trust Heinz enough not to make a move. That had been standard protocol when they were nemeses, but now that they weren't, it didn't really apply.

But if Perry didn't trust him or talk to him, then this would never work. It would end up for a world of hurt for both sides. And Heinz didn't know how much more heartbreak he could take. Then Heinz realized...

Maybe he was the one hurting Perry.

Perry was obviously still conflicted if he wanted to come here. He still wanted to see his owners and still wanted to be with them. Plus, maybe not telling Heinz they were his family was his way of saying he still wanted to be in the Agency. Heinz was apparently keeping him from the things he loved, and the things he wanted.

And the way Perry was crying at the sight of his owners reassured him that it was all true. He was hurting Perry. Ultimately, Heinz decided, he was going to have to let Perry go. Like he said before, he would sacrifice his own happiness for the happiness of the platyperson sitting next to him. And he was going to have to do it the only way he knew how.

"So, those are your owners?" Heinz said slyly. Perry really didn't like the look that was on his face. "All this time, this is where you lived! Hmmm, much easier than I thought."

Heinz noticed the suspicious glance Perry gave him as he turned to watch the horses as they were beginning to line up. It killed him inside, and what he was about to do didn't help either. But, this was the only way he could think of letting Perry go.

He would have to break Perry's heart.

As the horses continued to line up, Heinz noticed Perry's owners coming onto the infield. They dodged several camera crews and horse derby fans in order to get to the very middle. There was a small platform that the two boys climbed, and the orange-haired boy had a microphone. It looked like he was about to make an announcement to start the race.

Perfect.

Before he knew it, Heinz jumped out of his seat and ran down the stairs. He glanced back briefly to see what Perry was doing, and saw that he looked surprised, but wasn't making any moves yet. Heinz continued to look forward as he hopped over the railing and onto the track. Several people gasped as he continued to run across, jumping the second rail to get onto the infield. From there, he looked back to see if Perry was following him, and he was, with a very confused and worried expression.

Perry still hadn't figured out what Heinz was doing. What was the point of running onto the midfield? But he really hadn't liked the look on his face when he found out Phineas and Ferb were his owners. He had prided himself on his ability to tell when something was wrong, and it made him one of Major Monogram's best agents. And something was definitely wrong.

He followed Doofenshmirtz down the stairs, but had to stop at the rail as the horses raced by. But something that Perry had never expected awaited him on the other side. When the horses passed and the smoke cleared, Perry could see that Heinz had taken Phineas and Ferb captive.

He briefly wondered if Doofenshmirtz could hear his heart breaking...

All coherent thought stopped as Perry walked, almost in a trance, over both rails and into the midfield. He stopped a few feet in front of Doofenshmirtz, a gave him a confused expression. He still didn't believe what was happening right before his eyes.

"W-why?"

"Don't say anything!" Doofenshmirtz half-shouted. "I finally know where you live! Now, I'm going to take your precious _owners_-" he said the word with obvious disdain, "back with me. You follow us, they die."

Perry was taken aback by the sudden power in his voice. He had never been this truly evil when he was doing his schemes. In his plans, his inventions would affect a couple of people in the most obscure way possible, but never before had his plans put anyone in direct danger. And it just so happened that the people he cared about most were in the middle of this.

Perry put his hands up slowly in a sign of surrender. Doofenshmirtz relaxed slightly, then started directing the boys out of the stadium. The boys were rather compliant, much to Perry's surprise. Phineas and Ferb must've thought this was just another part to one of their crazy days, so they were going along with it. That made Perry even more nervous.

"I'll rescue you guys, I swear."

Doofenshmirtz was out of sight now, and Perry was finally brought back to reality. This wasn't a dream. His owners were in actual danger, and they were being held hostage by the same man that said he loved him not 24 hours ago. _'Ha,'_ Perry thought. _'Nice way to show affection.'_

He had to form a plan of action. He knew he couldn't just bust in there by himself. He was going to need back up. And even if they did have very limited resources, the Agency was the best form of back up right now.

Secret Agent Mode was fully turned on now as Perry hurried out of the stadium. He made sure Doofenshmirtz was no where to be seen, and ducked inside the Flynn-Fletcher house. After briefly searching, he found a way into his hideout that would be big enough for him to get into in his human form.

After sliding down a series of elaborate tubing, he finally popped out in a chair in front of a large screen. Suddenly, Major Monogram appeared. "AGENT P! You've come back! We-" he stopped, finally realizing a human was in the shot, not a platypus. He suddenly ducked out of the camera's view, and said something to someone off-screen. "Karl! I think one of his owner's friends found us out! Our cover's been blown!"

"Major Monogram!" Perry yelled, and said man came back on screen, surprised the human knew his name. "It's me! It's Perry!"

"What! You can't be Agent P! You're a human!"

"Doofenshmirtz turned me human, that's where I've been the last couple days." He managed to say his name without bursting into tears. He looked away briefly, before he said, "I've got no time to explain! There's a hostage situation!"

"What do you mean?"

"Doofenshmirtz captured my owners, and their being taken to the D.E.I. building right now! I'm going to go rescue them, but I'm gonna need back up!"

"Karl! Start making some calls!" the Major yelled off-screen. "Okay, Perry. We'll provide you with the necessary back up you need."

Perry nodded, and started sprinting for the tube back up. He'd wasted enough time already. But just before he reached it, Major Monogram said something to him. "Wait, Perry. You know, your identity's been compromised. You're going to have to be relocated after this. I hope you know that."

Without turning back, he said, "I know."


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Phineas and Ferb © Dan Povenmire and Swampy Marsh

* * *

Perry jumped in his hover car quickly, starting it, and taking off. He looked absolutely ridiculous in it, considering that he was much taller now, but there were no other means of transportation that would get him to the building fast enough. The ride was so routine, Perry was practically on autopilot, which was a good thing. It meant he had time to sort out his thoughts.

He still couldn't wrap his mind around the whole concept. Things had been perfectly fine before they'd arrived at the derby. He had solemnly accepted that he was choosing Doofenshmirtz over his family and job. It took him a while to get there, but he got there. All he'd wanted to do was say a last goodbye, of sorts. He'd never expected Doofenshmirtz to do what he did.

That was the biggest thing he couldn't - or maybe didn't want to - understand. Doofenshmirtz hadn't been provoked in any way. It had all been very abrupt, with no lead-in or anything to make Doofenshmirtz want to kidnap Phineas and Ferb. And Perry just couldn't believe that Doofenshmirtz had been using him this whole time. He seemed far too sincere in his actions for it to have all been a trick.

But then again, maybe Perry had missed something. Maybe he was so caught up in his own delusion that he forced that image upon Doofenshmirtz. Maybe he was so confused in the chaos and uncertainty of becoming human that he latched onto the first person who showed him affection, and refused to see any other side.

Then Doofenshmirtz took advantage of this, and used it to get what he wanted. That had to be the only explanation. There would be no other reason for nemeses to fall in love.

By the time he reached the D.E.I. building, he realized that he really didn't have much of a plan going into this. Well, winging it always worked for him, hopefully it would work just one more time.

He parked on the balcony, the same balcony where a couple days ago he'd been standing out in the rain, wondering what it felt like on his skin. He managed to hold back the tears threatening his eyes as he continued over to the entrance. He lingered for a moment before quietly opening the door, looking around to make sure the room was empty. It was, so he walked inside.

Inside the same apartment where he'd gotten his first taste of human food, where he'd peacefully slept in a warm bed and shared that bed with his arch nemesis whom he had fallen in love with. _'Shut up!'_ his mind screamed, _'There's no time for that right now!'_

After taking a moment to quickly regain his composure, he knew the next logical step would be to look upstairs in the lab. That would be the most likely place that Doofenshmirtz would've taken the boys. He ran out of the room and went up the stairs, deciding that it would be less conspicuous than the elevator.

When he got to the floor, he opened the door slowly, checking to make sure Doofenshmirtz wasn't paying attention. Luckily, his back was to Perry, so Perry snuck in quietly, making sure the door shut softly. He then hid behind a piece of machinery, and took a minute to assess the situation.

From what he could tell, Doofenshmirtz wasn't giving the boys his usual speech about all his evil plans. In fact, he wasn't even watching them. They were tied haphazardly to a couple of chairs while Doofenshmirtz was looking at a computer screen for one of his machines. The boys looked just as confused as Perry did. They must've thought that this was the most boring kidnapping ever.

Luckily, Ferb had brought along some kind of tool, and was currently working on getting himself out of the ropes. Phineas was watching him carefully, occasionally glancing up to make sure Doofenshmirtz wasn't watching. Thank goodness the boys were as smart as they were.

He decided to wait to see what would happen. If Doofenshmirtz noticed the boys were trying to escape, Perry would simply step in and distract him, allowing the boys to get out of the building. But if they could get escape without being noticed, Perry would wait until they were safely out before he made his move.

Instinctively, he looked around to see if there was any sort of weapon nearby he could use. He saw a small purple ray gun, the one Doofenshmirtz commonly pulled out of his coat pocket if his plans went wrong. Running on autopilot, he grabbed it and made sure it was charged. He promised himself that he would not use it unless he had to.

But honestly, if it came down to it, Perry didn't think he'd have the will to shoot him.

He peeked his head back around the machine to check on the boy's progress. Ferb seemed to be fully cut out now, and Phineas was working on his ropes. Ferb made sure to keep his hands behind his back, as if he were still tied up. Perry breathed an inner sigh of relief. They really did know what they were doing. It made things a lot easier.

"Hey! What're you doing!" Doofenshmirtz yelled. Although the enthusiasm that was usually behind his voice was gone. It's like he wasn't even trying. That confused Perry more. Why would Doofenshmirtz go to such great lengths to do this, and then not put any effort into it afterwards. It made him question the idea that Doofenshmirtz had been planning this.

Perry pushed that aside, pulling out the ray gun and quickly jumping into action. "Don't touch them, Doofenshmirtz!" he shouted, immediately gaining the attention of everyone in the room. But Doofenshmirtz was the only one he was focused on right now.

"P-Perry?" he said hesitantly, his voice cracking. "You weren't supposed to follow me!" He said that statement to himself more than anybody, which made Perry slow a little. What did Doofenshmirtz think he was going to do, stand back and watch? If he really didn't expect Perry, then this might've not been planned out from the start. Maybe his theory was all wrong.

Perry tried to ignore him and continued moving towards the boys. They had stopped what they were doing to watch the show, obviously deciding that it was now a lot more interesting. When Perry's attention turned to them, he saw that they looked very confused about the whole thing. It was rather understandable, and Perry felt really terrible about them being dragged into this.

When he reached them, he made a movement to cut the rope with the ray gun. When he did, Doofenshmirtz immediately jumped up, saying, "Hey! You can't do that!" He ran up to try and push Perry out of the way, but before he could, the gun was suddenly trained on him.

_'Only if I have to...'_

Doofenshmirtz backed away slowly, allowing Perry to make quick work of the rope, and set the boys free. The gun was right back on Doofenshmirtz though, even as Phineas approached him. "Sir? I don't know who you are, but thanks for saving us," Phineas said in his usual cheery tone. Perry had been right that they hadn't really thought they were in danger.

Perry smiled, "You're welcome. Now, you and your brother should get out of here." Phineas nodded and did as he was told. Perry and Doofenshmirtz locked eyes, an awkward silence building as Perry listened for the sound of doors closing, indicating the boys had left the room. No one moved a muscle as the tension escalated, until finally, Perry heard the doors closing.

Gun still aimed, Perry asked angrily, "What in the world are you doing! Everything was fine! Why did you have to bring them into this!"

"You brought them into this!" Doofenshmirtz retorted, equally as angry. "You were the one who decided you wanted to see your owners! You led me right to them!"

"I didn't want to see them so you could kidnap them! I just wanted to say goodbye! I trusted you enough not to make a move! Obviously, I was wrong."

Doofenshmirtz laughed. "Trust, you never trusted me..."

"I did, once." Perry said bitterly. "That was my biggest mistake." He turned around to leave, fighting back the tears in his eyes. What he said was true. It would be better if they left each other now. "Goodbye, Heinz."

"I hope you know, Perry, that I did this all for you."

Perry did a complete 180 at that. "All for me? You think you kidnapping my family and breaking my heart was for me!"

"Well I had to do something!"

"Something for what? Everything was just fine! There was nothing wrong!"

"Yes there was, Perry." Doofenshmirtz said. "You love your family, and you hate seeing them go. I couldn't stand to see you hurt like that. I... I love you too much."

"No, you're lying!" Perry tightened his grip on the gun as Doofenshmirtz came closer. "You only said you loved me to get to my family! It was all a lie!" The tears were starting to fall freely now. Perry was a confused mess inside. Why would Doofenshmirtz hurt him and threaten his family because he loved him. It made no sense.

"I love you too much to see you hurt. So I did the only thing I could. I made you hate me." He continued to move forward towards Perry.

"S-stop..." Perry said weakly, trying to force some sort of authority behind the command. It didn't work, as Doofenshmirtz still continued to move closer. He was now an arms-length away from Perry, his arms outstretched as if he were going to hug him. The only thing standing between them was the gun.

"I love you, Perry the platyperson." Doofenshmirtz said, grabbing hold of Perry's hands and gently lowering them. "And you came back here, so I have a funny feeling you might still love me, too."

The world was forgotten as Doofenshmirtz closed the distance between them with a passionate kiss. He cupped Perry's cheeks, his thumbs rubbing away the tears that were still streaming down his face. The gun was unceremoniously dropped to the floor as Perry wrapped his arms around Doofenshmirtz's shoulders, running his fingers through the tangled mess of hair that sat atop his head.

The moment was abruptly stopped, however, as a single word rang through out the lab...

"PERRY!"


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Phineas and Ferb © Dan Povenmire and Swampy Marsh

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Perry snapped to attention instantly, pulling away from Doofenshmirtz and getting as far away from him as possible. An unmistakable blush appeared on his face as he turned to his superior, who was glaring right back at him. Karl was standing just behind Monogram with a very stunned expression on his face. This was going to be hard to explain.

"Perry..." Monogram repeated, a little more calmly, now that the initial shock had worn off. "What are you doing?"

"Would you believe me if I told you nothing?" Perry asked.

"No, that most definitely was not 'nothing'. You know agents aren't allowed to have relationships with their nemeses!" Monogram said, starting to get a little more upset. "That rule hasn't ever had to be enforced! Now all of a sudden my best agent is breaking that rule? What were you thinking, Perry!"

Perry didn't say anything. He stared at Monogram's feet, like a child who was getting scolded. He knew he'd done wrong, and he knew it was his fault. He would take whatever punishment Monogram gave him, and he was take it like the agent he was.

Doofenshmirtz, however, was not an agent, and he was absolutely seething at Perry getting reprimanded like this. So what, they were in love. Why was that such a bad thing? Couldn't the agency just let him go? And why wasn't Perry standing up for himself?

"Perry, you're going to have to come with us," Monogram said. "If you're going to continue to work for the agency, you're going to have to have your mind erased of this whole incident."

Now Doofenshmirtz was pissed. Well, Perry wasn't standing up for himself, so he was going to have to do it for him. "And who says he's going to come back to the agency?" Perry snapped his head up at him in surprise.

"He never stopped working for the agency," Monogram answered. "You obviously did something to him when you turned him human. We're going to correct that."

"I didn't do anything to him! I only changed the way he looks, not the way he thinks!" Doofenshmirtz retorted. "Falling in love with me was of his own will, not mine!" A small blush formed on his face as he said that out loud.

Monogram was a little taken aback by it as well, but he quickly regained his composure. "So he developed Stockholm Syndrome. In which case, erasing his memory with also take care of that."

"Is that what this agency does? The minute one of their agents does something wrong, they just erase their memory so its as if it never happened?" Doofenshmirtz asked heatedly.

"Absolutely not," Monogram yelled back. "This is a very different situation! The Agent P I knew would never, as you put it, 'fall in love' with you. His job and his family were too important for that. Now all of a sudden you expect me to believe that he would leave that all behind for you? You've obviously done something to him, and I am going to do whatever it takes to fix that!"

That was the last straw. "Come on, Perry. Let's go." Suddenly, he grabbed Perry by the hand and ran the opposite direction, away from Monogram and Karl. He was so focused on getting out that he didn't hear Monogram shouting behind him.

All of a sudden, all the exits were blocked by agents. Every window, door, even vent. There was no way out.

The next few seconds for Doofenshmirtz happened in a blur. It was as if all his senses had decided to shut off, and he was running on autopilot. He could see the agents surrounding them, could see Perry's scared face, could see Monogram's smug expression, but he was powerless to do anything about it.

They had attached to each other, a basic need to be together. They were hanging onto each other for life as the agents tried to pull them apart. The agents succeeded. Their arms flailed as the tried to grab onto each other again. They screamed. They panicked. But no one was listening.

The agents carried Perry away as he struggled. Doofenshmirtz tried his hardest, but it wasn't good enough. Eventually, he could no longer see Perry, and all he could see was Monogram, and the agents who were holding him back.

"What are you going to do to him!" Doofenshmirtz asked desperately.

"Make him forget. About you, his family." Monogram answered. "Trust me, Doofenshmirtz. It's better this way." He paused, then smiled. "You'd do best to forget about him as well."

Doofenshmirtz could have torn his head off right then, but those damn agents were holding him down. Monogram gave a simple wave of his hand. The last thing Heinz remembered was a sharp pain on the back of his head, and then, nothing...

Doofenshmirtz awoke sometime later on the floor of his lab. He heard distant voices scattered throughout the room, but he couldn't tell who's they were. There were two, both male. One, old, and the other, young. As the fog cleared in his head, he realized who they belonged to, and snapped to attention.

"Monogram!" Doofenshmirtz shouted, but before he was able to act, he was suddenly pinned to the ground.

"He's awake, sir. What should we do." An all to familiar voice said.

"Perry?" Doofenshmirtz asked, and a confused expression came over the other man's face.

"How do you know my name?" Perry asked him.

"It doesn't matter, Perry. We're finished here." Monogram said from behind him. "Let's go."

Perry gave one last push on Doofenshmirtz before he stood up, following Monogram out the door. Doofenshmirtz sat up slowly, curling up into a ball, letting the events finally wash over him. As the tears silently fell, he made a solemn promise.

"I swear, Perry," he said quietly, "I will get you back."


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: Phineas and Ferb © Dan Povenmire and Swampy Marsh

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After the incident, Doofenshmirtz virtually fell off the face of the Earth. He still owned Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, but he no longer occupied the building. He had left Danville, and he hadn't made contact with anybody. Not even his daughter knew where he was. The Agency was completely stumped.

What he had done was he had moved out into the country. He bought a small place in the woods where no travelers could accidentally happen upon him. He built a small lab inside, and to avoid detection, would sometimes travel hours away to different stores to get supplies. It would all be worth it, in the end.

He'd been working for months on this one project. This one project that would turn everything back to normal. He gave up his entire life for this, and now, it was finally ready. The Memory Revive-inator. Capable of restoring anyone's memory, regardless of how they lost it. It shoots a small dart into the person's head, and it sends out electrical impulses, so the affected part of the brain is stimulated, and the forgotten memory is revived.

Now there was the issue of tracking Perry down. Luckily, one of the agents who was on the scene, Peter the Panda, was sympathetic. Because the Agency still hadn't figured out how to turn Perry back into an animal, he was never assigned a stationary family or a stationary nemesis. He stays at the Agency's headquarters, much like Karl does, and leaves to do his different assignments. Peter offers where Perry's going, and how long he'll stay there. Monogram doesn't suspect a thing.

According to Peter, Perry's currently on an assignment in, of all places, Danville. It was perfect. Go back to the place where it all began. Perry would be doing detective work at Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated to try and find _anything_ that would lead them to where Doofenshmirtz was. How wonderfully ironic.

He drove through the night to get back to Danville. It would be to risky taking a plane, and risks were something he couldn't afford. He parked in the back of the building and used a special entrance, one that he had built when he originally bought the place and only he knew about. He may usually be a poor planner, but he knew he would use this entrance would be useful someday.

Doofenshmirtz was surprised at the stunning lack of security there was when he got up to his lab. Only Perry was in there, and he was just looking around, trying to find evidence. Doofenshmirtz opened the door quietly, but Perry was an excellent agent. He heard Doof's footsteps right away.

"Who's there!" Perry shouted, suddenly pulling a gun from his belt, turning towards the sound.

Doofenshmirtz also pulled his invention from his labcoat. "A friend. An enemy. It's really up to you." he answered. _'I have to get a clear shot.'_

Perry laughed, recognizing the high-pitched voice instantly. "So, you've finally returned. I'm surprised it took you this long. What made you decide to come back?"

"A mission..." _'C'mon, just a little further to the right.'_

"A mission... hmmm. And what mission is so important that you would risk your life and freedom for it?" Perry asked, still moving forward.

_'Perfect.' _

"You." Doofenshmirtz fired the device, and it landed right on the side of Perry's head. The electric impulses caused Perry to pass out, but Doofenshmirtz caught him just before he hit the floor.

Wow, did it feel good to touch Perry again. Doofenshmirtz sat down on the floor and held Perry's head in his lap. He run his thumb along his cheek, and pushed the teal hair out of his eyes. He was so peaceful. He was beautiful.

Doofenshmirtz was so lost, he didn't notice that Perry had woken up until Perry snapped up, nearly bumping into Doofenshmirtz's head. He looked around for a moment, like he was confused, but then he caught sight of Doofenshmirtz.

"...Heinz?" Perry asked, and hearing him say his name sent shivers up Doofenshmirtz's spine.

His voice cracked slightly as he smiled and said, "Yea, Perry. It's me."

Suddenly, he was wrapped in a huge embrace as Perry jumped on him, nearly sending him to the floor. Tears started streaming down his face as he said, "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry for everything I did!"

"Shh..." Doofenshmirtz returned the hug, stoking his fingers down Perry's hair. "It's okay. It's not your fault. I'm just so glad I got you back." Doofenshmirtz was starting to cry now as well, thinking he would never be able to feel like this again.

They pulled apart briefly only to be pulled back together by a fervent kiss. It was even better than the first time. Just the simple touch of the other was amazing. They had been separated for months, and they finally got back together. This passion of this kiss showed that. But this time, Doofenshmirtz was never letting it go.

"Perry the platyperson..." Doofenshmirtz pulled away briefly to say.

"Yea." Perry answered.

"I love you... so much."

_Things were going to be okay._

"And I love you."

_They were definitely going to be okay._


End file.
